Written by: Nigel Edokpolo (Registered Psychotherapist- Qualifying)

The term filling one’s cup is a term used often and I give credit to one of my clients I work with for using this term as it is quite important to discuss. Filling one’s cup refers to making time for oneself and enjoying things that bring you happiness. Sounds easy. I want you to stop and think about what brings you happiness and think how many things you partake in that make you feel happy and how often. As we grow up, more and more that happens less and less and we learn that other things become a priority while doing what we love and has filled us with joy is pushed away and replaced by the labours of adult life. But who decided that? Who taught us that? Please take a moment and reflect on where we all came to believe that we have to put ourselves last and our enjoyment behind everything else.

Everyone has different ways of filling their cup, and no one can tell you what is good for you, but you, as no two people, even twins, are the same. Is filling your cup that important? What are some benefits?

• Helps recover from burnout and stress.
• Provides relaxation for your body physically.
• Allows you to live in the present moment, not thinking about the past or future
• Is a form of self-care mentally and emotionally

Throughout our lives, we continue to find things we enjoy. Yet, aspects of work, relationships, bills, family and various other responsibilities get put before ourselves, and while sometimes that has to come first, it does not mean we have to come last. Think about it: Would you put your partner or your rent last? If you answered no, why are you so different? As people, we tend to find excuses to perform other tasks rather than put ourselves first. In doing so, we sometimes trick ourselves into believing that doing something for your loved ones, family, friends, or even work can fill your cup. And of course, at times, this can be true, but it almost becomes a placebo effect and while it’s good for a period of time, eventually, it catches up and that is why making time for oneself to fill your cup is important and it does not have to be an hour or two every single day mind you. Being mindful of the time you have and using that to fill your cup is an active strategy that people undervalue. Consider being at work during a long stressful ship and on your lunch, you decide, instead of taking your full hour to eat, you eat for 45 minutes and then take a 15-minute walk. If walking is not filling your cup, listen to music; if not music, listen to a podcast. Making the best out of the time you have to fill your cup is an important skill that involves mindfulness, which is being in the present moment with your thoughts and focusing on the things in the here and now for oneself.

Quote

Fill up your cup own cup so that you can overflow into the lives of others.

Only the person reading this knows how to fill the wrong cup; as time goes on, we learn to develop interests and hobbies that are exclusive to us and a bonus appears when we find people similar with certain hobbies and enjoyments and that is why looking for ways to continue to find happiness and enjoyment in your life should be a part of everyday life. Thinking every person reading this has their own activities that they like that will fill their own cup and at this point, I would like all of you reading just to take a moment and think what do I like to do that makes me feel happy or good? I’m sure you can think of a couple of things and maybe even rank them.

• Going on a run
• Cooking
• Playing videogames
• Watching soccer
• Cleaning the floors
• Smoking weed
• Hanging out with friends
• Bowling
• Movie night with loved ones
• Having a picnic
• Star gazing
• Listening/recording music

With everything listed, how many items can you check off in your list? Do you partake in any of these and if they are aspects of your life, do you find meaning behind them or take them for granted? An example like listening to music could be brushed aside, but when we are in turn with our interests, it can have a powerful effect on us as people, so next time you listen to Adele rolling in the deep, be in the moment and not in the future or past and see how you feel afterwards.