Individual Psychotherapy Archives - Christie Heart Psychotherapy

Written by: Nigel Edokpolo (Registered Psychotherapist- Qualifying)

When we think of motivation, we think of things that empower us to tackle everyday tasks or larger-than-life challenges. Movies and TV Shows are prime examples; whether it is Star Wars, Game of Thrones, Pokémon, or Rocky, there is an underlying message of what motivation means for that person and how it influences them throughout their experience. Take a step back while reading and think about what motivates you. Want fuels you in different areas of your life?

Motivation itself is not one-dimensional, as it is almost like a living person and can change from event to event and person to person. An example of this is students studying hard and working to become a doctor, one may do it for the money, but the other for prestige and title. Everyone has their own method of motivation, such as

Money
Success
Status
one’s future
competition
family
loved ones
regret
pain
aspiration’s

Motivation is something that can change rapidly, such as one day being motivated to go to the gym because you want to look good, wanting to look like a Victoria’s Secret model or wanting to look like a professional boxer and with only a couple of weeks you now want to continue. After all, you like the feeling of the changes within your body; now, your motivation has changed. Where does motivation come from the question mark and that is a tricky question because one could say that it comes from deep within us and our desires, another might say it’s from our environment in seeing what others have and another person might say it is the environment and the people around you that shape what your motivation wants to be.

There are points in our lives and even while reading this, you may find that you don’t have motivation. You find it hard to get out of bed, go to work or the gym, or even find pleasure in things you used to do, like hanging out with friends, playing video games, and spending time with your pets. A lack of motivation can stem from mental illness such as depression, anxiety, PTSD, bipolar and various other mental health concerns. If you’re reading this and you can relate to what is being said, what comes next might surprise you, but you do have motivation; it’s just currently that your other emotions are heightened, so it is difficult for that motivation to fuel you. If you are reading up until this part, yes, you could be an avid reader, but you could also be someone who was looking to help motivate themselves and if you are already this far into this blog, you’re already taking steps. Motivation doesn’t have to be that day when you feel better and can go and do all the things you love. Taking time for yourself builds up tolerance and building strategies to help position yourself where your motivation can allow you to get back to where you want to be. Below are some examples of what can help with motivation.

Setting smaller ACHIEVABLE goals The row today. When we set one larger goal up for ourselves and we don’t complete it, it is natural to feel bummed out or upset about it.
Breaking down goals. Instead of having one larger goal, as mentioned in the point before, break that down into smaller steps. In doing so, you will achieve your larger goal but just with more steps.
Remembering baby steps count. Sometimes, we don’t give ourselves enough credit for doing the simple basic things such as going to work or walking the dog.
Journaling. Making a note of achievements over a period of time can help you feel a bit more motivated; where if six days out of the week you weren’t able to accomplish your goal but one day you were able to, you’re able to look back and see that you were able to accomplish it at one point.

Setting smaller ACHIEVABLE goals The row today. When we set one larger goal up for ourselves and we don’t complete it, it is natural to feel bummed out or upset about it.
Breaking down goals. Instead of having one larger goal, as mentioned in the point before, break that down into smaller steps. In doing so, you will achieve your larger goal but just with more steps.
Remembering baby steps count. Sometimes, we don’t give ourselves enough credit for doing the simple basic things such as going to work or walking the dog.
Journaling. Making a note of achievements over a period of time can help you feel a bit more motivated; where if six days out of the week you weren’t able to accomplish your goal but one day you were able to, you’re able to look back and see that you were able to accomplish it at one point.

Motivation is an important part of therapy, which is why there are several strategies for working with a lack of motivation. If you’re thinking, “It’s silly to go to therapy because I don’t feel motivated because other people have larger problems,” that is not true. That is a part of you that is trying to block the motivation. Scheduling A consultation, showing up to your session and just talking to someone are all forms of motivation for you to get back to the person you want to be.

QUOTE

It is the knowledge that I am going to die that creates the focus that I bring to being alive, the urgency of accomplishment, the need to express love – now, not later. If we live forever, why ever even get out of bed in the morning?

Passions and motivations change, which is normal, just like asking for a bit of help and having you rediscover old motivations and passions. If you finished reading this blog, I do hope you found a little bit, even 1% more motivation, to accomplish whatever you have on your mind.

Written by: Nigel Edokpolo (Registered Psychotherapist- Qualifying)

Stress is an everyday part of our lives and can be detrimental to our health at times, but on the other hand, it can also be beneficial and how you use your stress will determine how someone comes out of a situation.

When people hear the word stress, they think of typically negative aspects relating to it, such as having to write a test, finishing a 20-page paper, paying rent, cleaning the house, and the championship game. Even more, stress can be related to the more minor things in life, such as trying to beat a boss in a video game, the anticipation of the serial killer in movies, and having the school call your parents. Some of you reading this can relate to this type of stress and understand that it’s not enjoyable, nor is it beneficial. But stress can also be positive, such as the examples below.

The birth of a child
A Job interview for one’s dream job
Deciding where to vacation
Buying a new car
Starting a new relationship

Everyone reading this currently has their different way of dealing with types of stress; even if we look at an example of preparing for a test, some people will study for hours, some people study the night before cause some people study the day of and during the test people may exhibit behaviours of stress such as sweating coughing, rapid breathing, eye twitches and various other behaviours, but not everyone exhibits the same thing behaviours.

Quote

It’s not stress that kills us; it’s our reaction to it.

Normalizing stress is important to understanding that we will all be stressed at various points in our lives, but the reaction is what gives or takes power away from us. Stress management is a common phrase you have probably heard prior to reading this wherein you use tools such as time management, graphing, note taking, reminders and other methods that allow for the management of concerns one is undergoing. What are the benefits of stress management tools?

Time management: Becoming secure with allotting certain tasks for a certain amount of time can help with a reduction of anxiety and stress.

Note-taking: This allows you to prioritize tasks and assign a hierarchy of most important to least important in a visual manner.

Graphing: Similar to note-taking, it allows for an artistic visual that can provide insight into areas of stress and help prioritize what someone views as most important, such as using a pie graph.

Reminders: Setting alerts on your phone, marking days and times on your fridge calendar, sticky notes around the home, and sticky notes app on the computer to pop up every time you log on.

While stress management is proactive, sometimes stress can be unexpected and take us by surprise, but referring back to the quote, it is the REACTION that harms us, which is why being proactive is not enough; being reactive is a part of the strategy to help cope.

Stress reduction

You may typically hear about stress reduction in counselling, but it is very much individualized and easy to incorporate into your own lives without having to attend therapy. Stress reduction is an opportunity for individuals to reduce bodily and emotional tension. We tend to think of stress just with our minds, but our bodies can and will take a toll if we neglect ourselves and we all have a responsibility to ourselves to partake in self-care. What does stress reduction look like and include you may ask?

Exercise: Physical movement is beneficial under stress and naturally for the body, which can be going for a jog, boxing, basketball, tennis, yoga, weight lifting, etc.
Meditation: Thinking exercises that involves focusing on the present moment and being in tune with oneself. This can be done in a quiet room, focusing on the positives and blocking the negatives for 15-45 minutes.
Relaxation training: Relaxation is noticing the stress in all parts of one’s body. While better with a therapist to assist, it is still managing oneself by taking deep breaths, recognizing where the stress feels predominant, and then relaxing that part of the body.

The benefits of stress management and reduction are important to our everyday lives and as individuals, we try to control our stress and when it happens, but sometimes it leads us to more stress. There are times in life that we cannot control and can lead to our stress, but remember that stress can be good or bad; it can also be terrible, harmful, annoying, mediocre, etc. It just depends on how YOU react to the stress at hand.

Motivation

QUOTE

Stress Management

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